Tuesday, May 5, 2009

My Mosaic

Hello, and welcome to My Mosaic. For sometime now, I've had quite a few friends tell me I should get into this whole "blogging" thing, but as an American, and procrastinator (I do believe the two go hand in hand), I've put it off. It wasn't until sheer exasperation at not being able to subscribe to and comment on a BFF's blog, did it finally sink in, maybe I should just jump on the bandwagon.

And in all honesty, it's probably not a bad idea. I, who at one time used to have a journal in my purse, car, nightstand, locker at work, and various other places, have not put down any semblance of thought or feeling onto paper since, well since before I got married. I've since been divorced (recently), and while the wounds are still deep and very, very painful, I realized that it's time to start to heal. One way to do that? Write it down.

Now, before anybody freaks out about this being a "male-bashing, chick-crying, whining, complaining, heart ache and break" blog, I want to reassure you that, no, I do NOT plan on wallowing in self pity (although there may be moments, I do plan on being honest in this blog). I did that long enough, and it's time to move forward. Fortunately, I have AWESOME friends who back me on this, and one particular BFF (same one kicking me to start blogging) that supports me in everything, and challenges me to grow, not wilt away.

As I take the small steps to a better life, I'm excited for the first time since BEFORE I got married. There are goals, and plans, and achievements that I can visualize myself doing. My life is slowly becoming mine again. I've recently started training for a triathlon that I'm doing with same BFF, we're starting a weight loss plan together, I've gone back to church, and I've started the process of forgiveness, not just for the ex, but also for myself. A huge first step in allowing the past to be the past, and the future to be all that it was meant to be. And to celebrate the new me, I'm going with BFF to Disney World in December. Very exciting times ahead.

So why, Mosaic, as a name for this blog? Well, when registering for this, they asked what I wanted to call it. And as I began to think about all the reasons I want to start writing a blog, and all the things I want to say in it, I realized that my life is far from perfect. In fact, since the day shortly before Christmas when I heard the crushing words, "I want a divorce," I felt as though my life was shattered into a thousand pieces. And as I think about being broken, I realized that it's time to start putting them back together, but not with everything in the same place it was before. I also realized that, I WANT my life to be like a mosaic. Broken and rearranged, put back together into something far more beautiful.

1 comment:

  1. (Applause!) Well done girl. Nice imagery. That's what our lives are made up of afterall - the good and bad, and the spaces in between.

    So... is it BAD that I already can't wait to see you at the finish line of the tri? lol